A HEART FELT LETTER…
Hey Snitey…. it is freaking the 25th of September, 2019 and I cannot believe that you are turning 26 today. But, I also cannot believe that I no more can call you on your cellphone and scream HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! Moreover, I do know that you are in a way better place; only thing is that you are not around in flesh and so it makes it really hard for us to grasp and accept the fact that you are gone forever. Not to mention how Baba Selie and Mama Roman currently feel, Snitey. They are absolutely torn. All what mama Roman does is, go on your cellphone and check your photos every second of the day. She then cries and cries. Baba Selie then comes out of their bedroom and tries to make her feel better. I went home in December of 2018 Snitey, and the first thing I did was head to your place. Quite honestly, I could not walk around our neighbour and especially past Albergo Italia and Olympia. I felt my knees too weak and it was very hard to walk and look up to your bedroom’s window. Whenever I tried to walk past your apartment, something just whispers on my ears and I all of a sudden hear your light voice calling me Saroney Indiamo!!! I am not sure if I spelt the Italian version right but I know you are watching me from above now and probably pissed because I probably spelt it wrong!
The first day I went to see Baba Selie and Mama Roman, I did not meet them because they were actually away to Dubai. I was very happy to hear that they were taking sometime away Snitey and I know for a fact that is what you wanted them to do. Then, Mama Roman called home to notify us that they were back and as soon as the phone call ended, I went to see them. I am actually sobbing writing this right now. I cannot describe what I was feeling while walking upstairs to your apartment Snitey. I started shaking and weeping to a point where my aunty asked me to try and minimize my tears so that I do not end up making Mama Roman cry non stop . Then, we reached at the door and the moment I saw mama Roman…. my heart beat completely stopped! I could not dare to see her in her eyes. I was too sad. Mama Roman then started saying, “Your sister is here my beloved daughter, come back for once to see her”. Please, just imagine being on the scene… it is sadly indescribable. I could not handle it. We hugged for non stop 30 minutes crying. Baba Selie then came after a while and seeing Baba Selie too weak was too sad. However, I still was able to see his willingness to stay strong for his only and beloved wife, mama Roman.
Being in Asmara and more importantly at your home without you felt too empty Snitey. It just was not the same. Everything felt weird without you in it. I kept on asking myself why the heck did I not come to Italy to see you all the time you were there. I think that I will always be blaming myself for not making that happen. But, remember Mimi and I were planning on coming right after we got our citizenship. What happened to our plan? Why were we so sure that you were going to be okay? I do not know about anybody else but I honestly was fooled by your sweet and calm words Snitey. You made us feel very comfortable which I find very ironic. I still do not have an answer to the question I had the second I heard that you were gone. How did you do it? How were you so positive the entire time when you suffered the most? How were you making everyone around you laugh so hard? I sometimes find myself scrolling over our old texts and laughing hard by myself and people wonder why I am laughing. Then, I stop for a minute and realize that it is your spirit that keeps me smile all day and night along.
It is crazy to me to even think that crazy sassy little girl who introduced me (us) to apple and banana pie is not here anymore. I know you are laughing hard right now just after reading the apple and banana pie!! ( Mimi… knows too).
You know what else would make you laugh now? When you and I gossip about Mimi…. so funny!
I MISS you so much Snitey.
I questioned the presence of God when he took you, but it is through your loss that I have learnt the most important aspects of life and I just cannot thank you enough for all that you are and continue to be. I am also sure that it is not only me who feels the same way. I am definitely going to be implementing things I have learnt through you on my everyday life to continue live on your legacy Snitey. I will make sure that my children and grandchildren know you. Also, when I will be talking about you, please know that Fear of God, Patience, Unconditional Love, Positive Regard, Gratitude, Hope, Laughter, Hard Work and Ethics CALL your name out Loud.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN, AMORE!
Also, quick update… Mimi called home earlier today and we were told that Mom and Dad celebrated your birthday really well. I will make sure I call tomorrow as well.
Keep me in your daily prayers, Snitey
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH