The strength in solitude

December 14, 2017

Dear Diary,

Hey Diary, what is up! Well, this is one of the days where I am feeling really bad. I have never thought I would be in a situation where I would feel nothing! Nothing! Very hard to grasp what I am saying because I, myself, cannot believe what I am going through right now. Would you believe me if I tell told you I have been in the same kind of pain for the past two years!? It was December 08th, 2015, when I first felt it as I walked from home to school. I reached the Bay and all of a sudden, a sharp pain struck my right side of my abdomen. I stopped there for a second to see if it was some sort of real pain or if it was something I thought I felt. But, I felt it again as I continued to walk. I reached school, my pain was still there. I was studying and the pain would not go away and it is still is as I am writing this currently. My exam is supposed to be after tomorrow but after visiting my specialist, I am just feeling down like I have not before. When I talked to him, it almost felt like he was sure as to what he saw on my CT scan but at the same time, he wanted to make sure before disclosing anything specific in case it turns out to be what I had before.

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

Right now I am at the University of Winnipeg Library, kinda in so much pain. My two friends are trying to cheer me up for the better :). They both have exams soon but what are friends for huh? I appreciate them so much! I love ya’ll! God bless you abundantly and may all your life be blessed with so much grace and good health, and may you accomplish all of the things your heart desires!

Hmmm, what else shall I say? Feeling unwell and crying daily has been one of the easier and regular things I am doing! Not that I enjoy it, not that I intentionally do it, but I do it anyway. It is not something I can control of. It just happens. I hope and pray that God helps me, get me through this difficult time, for me and all the lovely people that surround me! Because it hurts…

February 2018

Not that I am not thankful… please do not get me wrong but, not knowing what has been going on inside you and being constantly in pain in something unbearable. I hope my results are not as bad as I am expecting them to be! I hope that God intervenes and may his mother’s prayer also help me during this time! Please, God, show me how much mercy you have upon me, and may you also hear your mother’s prayer for me! Do your miracle!

I hope I continue to work on my faith. I leave everything in your hands and I truly meant it. AMEN!

Signed.

February 05th, 2018

University of Winnipeg, Garbanzo Restaurant

I am delighted to hear my MRI results from the specialist today! Thank God, it was nothing worse! I was scared of what the result would have been as I constantly had pain on my right side of the abdomen. I still have the pain but at least I now know that there is no kind of complications whatsoever. It sure was great to hear that from the doctor today! I will continue to pray and put my faith in him only one AMLAK! (Insert a heart emoji). I hope he continues to heal me, gives me good health so I continue to work on my daily mission to be the extraordinary Saron!

Photo by Anete Lusina on Pexels.com

Signed.

Reflection

Phew, man where did the time go first of all? I just cannot believe these were part of my early 20’s as I am heading to my early 30’s! LOL! Just kidding, but I once heard that if you are a little over 25, you are categorized with the “oldies”. Little do we know of the grace that comes along with age!

Anyway, guys working at the hospital the past couple of days reminded me of the days I was there a few years back. The years I was going there for regular check-ups, weekly mandatory blood work, on-going CT scans as well as MRIs where my appetite was completely shut down except for cereals and when I say cereals, believe me when I say there was only one kind of that I was able to put up with no causing complications. The reason why I am writing this is not even to let you all know what I have been through, but after doing an intentional reflection on the past couple of days, I have realized something about myself and my thinking process that I think is worth sharing. Hoping that it would help someone out there, here are my two cents!

Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com (Solitude….ahh)
  • As much as I was there to support a patient who by the way did not require much assistance from me, staying at the hospital for a prolonged period certainly did not make me happy. I guess that is part of what it means to be a human being but we can choose to see things differently if we are more aware of ourselves and our surroundings. Do you know what the keyword is here guys? Continuous intentional self-reflection will most definitely help you recognize an area of your lives where you may need self-assessment to be the best version of yourself, so that you may serve those around you better. Isn’t that why we are all here, to begin with?
  • Staying at the hospital the past two days also almost felt like it was for a reason because I was reminded of the times where I was worried about my health which kind of helped me reevaluate my current worries. It is not a one-second type of thing where I would automatically snap back and be like “Oh, I should not be worried about such and such”, but seeing a different dimension of life slaps you with a quick reality check which allows you to identify and prioritize what is important!
  • Let’s not forget what God has brought us from! I won’t say much about this because it is different for everyone and I hope you take the time to reflect.

I hope this was insightful!

Thank you for reading!

Till next time

Love & Blessings

Xoxo

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Muna says:

    Thank you for sharing saron, intentional self reflection I love the idea as many of us are super focused on what’s in the front and the future we forget to look back so thanks for the reminder. I wish you abundance in every aspect of your life❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. lilydope says:

    Only if you know how much I love you boo!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH EMUNAYEYE!!!

    Like

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