HABESHA GUYS… YA’LL NEED TO DO BETTER!

IT IS 2020 YA’LL! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The topic that I would like to discuss today concerns about dating and guys. If you reside outside Winnipeg and this resonates with you… well it is a good thing! Wink! I am specifically talking about those in Winnipeg, because what I will be talking will be based on my and my friends’ experiences. So, if this sounds familiar to you lol you are on the right spot!

Christmas season is one of my favourite times of the year. Whose isn’t? Especially if you are a student, you are done with your exams, you are just chilling, staying indoor, watching movies, catching up with your favourite T.V shows, hanging out with friends, spending time with your families, and if you are dating someone, then you are obviously spending a quality time with them as well. It is the coldest season of the year but having the people you love the most by your side makes you feel cozy and warm! Ahhh, please just imagine that for a moment! We, as human beings are not as thankful as we are supposed to be, but connecting with the people you love the most is actually one of the most beautiful things to experience in life.

Are you wondering where I am heading with this topic? LOL. I will be explicitly talking about dating and habesha guys in Winnipeg.

I am not here to disregard the honest, open, loving , hardworking, God-fearing fellas , but I certainly cannot keep silent when I witness things that needs to be addressed. ( You will thank me later, wink!). Prior to today’s topic though, I just want to inform readers, to please not take anything that I will mention here personal. You can certainly check if any of this resonates with you, so that you can make use of it. My intention is never to upset anyone.

Aight then, let us mention the 7 categories of habesha guys I have in my mind. This is all based on my experience and stories I have heard of my friends.

1. The inconsiderate ones: These type of guys seem very quiet and innocent. Any opportunity they get to talk to a girl, they will take it. They are sincere but they want to just automatically be your friend. Once they get your #, they share too much about themselves. As in, they tell you a whole summary of how their day went and what they did and all that. There is nothing wrong with that, but you cannot just tell someone you just met few days ago, every little thing that you been doing and especially over the text? I do not know about ya’ll ( my girls), but I do not think it is advisable to say too much about you or what you did right after you met someone. Because it becomes boring. LOL. Also, these type of guys keep on asking you if you could go out for a coffee, breakfast, lunch or whatever it is multiple times right away. There is no problem with asking someone out, but do not do it too soon especially if the girl is not feeling your vibe! LOL. These type of guys weakness is that they do not have a dating experience and so they get very nervous when you go out with them. LOL. You sit at a restaurant waiting for the waiter/waitress to take your orders, not only do they order for themselves but they also order for you too. LOL. What the heck! Intentionally or not- they order water for you too without giving you the option. What if I wanted to have a cup of coffee, tea or a glass of smoothie or wine! LOL. My advice to the ones that get nervous on first date is to just be yourself and let things be.
2. The one that passed the friend zone but insecure afterwards: You meet these type of guys coincidently. Seriously, when you least expect it. LOL. Somehow, you click and become friends right away. You do not have to force anything. Everything somehow flows. You do not even have to force a conversation. Gradually, both parties (if lucky) become interested in one another and they start dating. These type of guys for most times seem very shy, and kind but they do not open up to you, because they are afraid of being judged and eventually losing you. They do not want you to know the true them, so they only show you what they want you to see. But, they say they love you too much that they cannot imagine their lives without you. Their words is not followed by actions for most parts. Also when encountered problems/arguments, instead of discussing issues and trying to solve things, they often try to run away from it, seemingly making you the one who wants to always talk and argue. Say what you feel! You are not talkative. They maybe sorry for the time being but they will repeat the same actions over and over. I hope you do not keep up with the same patterns of excuses just like I once did. Another thing to be cautious is that they are very manipulative that they use phrases like “ I am gonna hurt my self, if you break up with me”, “I am going to jump off this bridge, if you decide to take a break” , “If you leave me, I know I won’t find a girl like you” to make you believe you are all they want. Please, do not fall for it. It is all a bunch of words they use to manipulate your thoughts. First of all, there is no as such as “I won’t find somebody else like you”. You certainly will find the right person at the right time. Do not be fooled by just words that do not make sense. If you have a single doubt about their words and actions, try to protect your energy by deciding to leave. Your energy does not lie. Whatever your guts tells you about a person, trust it. Moreover, these type of guys are very narcissistic that they think they are the only ones that know everything. Sure enough, they maybe knowledgeable but one should not confuse knowledge with being too prideful. However, my perspective as to why these type of guys act too prideful , I think partly depends on how they were raised. They grow up believing someone that they are not. Then, as adults, when they realize all the thoughts they had (about them) was actually wrong image of them, they find it hard to accept the fact. Thus, they live their lives trying to disprove the present thoughts about them, the present being the truth. They are always in a continuous battle with their child self. Additionally, these type of guys not only crave constant admiration and praise from others but expect others to love them when they don’t even love themselves. That ain’t possible! They are always trying to find attention from a bunch of girls including their ex’s. Their self-esteem is very low that they constantly talk negative of their past relationships. If you are a current lover of this type of personality, do not believe any of his drama. He makes up things about his exes so that you see another image of him. Since he has not found himself yet, he is not even supposed to be dating anyone but all he cares is that victimizing girls because that is the only way he can survive. These type of guys intentionally keep on projecting negative energy onto you to a point where they can actually pretend to forget your name. Please, do not be surprised. He probably also cannot spell his name. At the end, since everyone knows or have heard of his story, he knows no girl can date him especially not in the Western World where feminism is often emphasized and practiced. He will end up going to the motherland to find a girl because he knows she cannot find out of what he did in the past. You should definitely try to remember them in your prayers.

3. That one guy that just talks about school and work only: These type of guys are probably the nicest and kind hearted when you know them at a deeper level. The concern about these guys comes when all they talk about is work and school. It is absolutely boring to not talk outside school and work. Then, they wonder why they have never received a response from that girl they once took out on a date. I mean, there is a a lot of variety of things that one can talk about. Life does not revolve around school and work only. LOL. So, please if you are reading, you should step it up!

4. That one guy that embarrasses you with presents and flowers in the middle of your shift: Whew! Oh man, this type of guy is extremely persistent and does not care of people’s opinions. I just love it. LOL. They do their best to get a hold of you and once they do , they still continue to show you how much they are into you through different kinds of presents and by showing up at your work place with roses, postcards and box of chocolates, sometimes help you with your chores ! LOL! They are also super engaging on one to one conversation. They have a great sense of what dating should look like ( as in, they like to do activities, walking, movies, dinner, lunch breakfast dates) but their issue raises when they become too quick to catch feelings. These type of guys do not give you the time to get to know them. They quickly rush you onto romance. If you are type of this guy, please make sure to get to know the girl, do not rush her onto something she may not be interested in. You will not only lose someone you thought you would be dating, but someone who could have stayed as a friend too. If you are this type of a guy, another tip from me to you is that do not try to buy a girl through presents and gifts. It could be very overwhelming. Exchanging presents should be mutual. LOL.

5. The one that uses too much emojis: LOL. This type of guy seems very genuine and is likeable from far. He is funny and keeps up conversations. This type of guy is looking for a wife. LOL. He just wants to get to know you in a short period of time and because he knows you are close to being done with school. I think this is because of the old mentality that still exists in the society today. If a girl graduates, it is time for her to get marry kind of thoughts. Well, yes it is a beautiful thing if she feels ready but it does not have to always be like that. Moreover, this type of guy texts you so much that he does not even know what emojis he is using. It gets annoying, because you could be talking about a country you would like to visit, and he sends you too many of those unrelated out of topic emojis. Then, you get confused and even forget what you are talking about. LOL. If you are this type of guy, please reduce your emoji usage.

6. The one that flirts with you on social media with no clear intentions: Sometimes social media can be a place where people can actually mingle, start dating and even marry at the end. LOL. What a beautiful fairytale! Moreover, the way people approach you on social media varies. Some of them just happen to talk to you after seeing one of your funniest story you put on your Instagram and you continue talking here and there while some could just slide into your DM’s because they are honestly interested. It is up to you to recognize where to categorize each of those DM’s you get. I won’t talk about conversations that solely starts off friendly or brotherly/sisterly, because it often does happen and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. What I will be talking is rather about the guys that slide in to a girl’s DM knowing that they want to get to know them. They talk to them and present themselves as people who are genuinely interested. They entertain them to the maximum and sometimes we girls get carried away. LOL. Moreover, they suddenly ghost at girls for no good reason. It is 2020! If you are this type of a guy, please be clear with your intentions. Do not confuse a girl by sending different signals. You either be in her life or out! Do not be in the middle of the door closing her blessings. No one forced you to start off a conversation in the beginning. You being indecisive is not an answer. Grow up. Be mature about things and try to evolve.

7. The ones that are full of themselves: This type of guy knows he is a good looking and has his shit together. LOL. It is human nature for someone to be interested in someone like this, well… Bob Marly said it once. It is all about survival of the fetus! LOL. My advice for this kind of guys is that do not be intimidated by a girl who slides into your DM’S! There is nothing wrong with girls making the first move especially if she is crushing on you. LOL. Do not think of her as a needy who is looking for a relationship either. That is just an assumption you make in your thoughts. It is great that you do your thing, and have the self-esteem built up. However, be friendly and open minded. Life is full of surprises! Wink!

To all my ladies, I hope this helped you out!

To all the guys out there, I hope this helped you too!

Once again, thank you for reading.

Love & Blessings

Till next time

Xoxo